I am watching my 5 year old son change rapidly in the year before school.
It is a time when the little boy gives way to the bigger boy.
He is learning things fast now. Becoming so much more independent.
Questioning, trying, and certainly disagreeing along the way.
His need for me is changing too.
He can find his own way quite well now. He doesn't need Mom so much to help him.
My days are punctuated by "I can do it!" Or "I want to do it!"
Then there are the tantrums;
So much more intense. The yelling is so wordy now.
He wails his wants and stomps his foot.
He thumps through the house, huffy and annoyed.
My hugs and kisses have lessened. Sometimes I have to ask for them, whereas previously they were more spontaneous and certainly more frequent. Often several times an hour.
I miss that little boy-ness.
The fussing over him.
He is my youngest son and definitely my last little boy.
His growing stings more than the brothers before him.
When he starts school next year, he cannot be 'replaced.'
There will be no more little boys to play with at home while he is gone, as there have been in the past.
When I imagine his first day of school next year, I also imagine returning home to a house without a little boy in it, for the very first time in 12 years.
The thought greatly saddens me.
No more wooden train sets winding around the sofas.
No more tiny metal cars underfoot.
No more quiet spells that require investigating by myself, worried by my little man's dangerous and mischievous curiosity.
No more messy boy faces and hands that require Mom's assistance.
No more little boy bouncing on the sofa, laughing at me while I growl yet again for it to stop.
These things will become more scarce when he goes to school - only after 3.30pm on weekdays.
Some of his precious toys will be abandoned as new interests form.
His tantrums will change again too, heightened and intensified by complex school days and fatigue.
I will have to stand back and let the little life unfold before me.
'Baby Taite,' I will always be there for you, loving you and waiting, in case you should need me for anything no matter how big or small.
As I say constantly to all of my children:
"You will always be my babies, forever."
Do you have a child starting school next year?
How did you feel when your baby began their school life?
Please leave a comment below.
Linking up today for IBOT with Essentially Jess.