Saturday, 11 July 2015

My Best Bad Mothering Tip (That Always Seems to Work!)

 
I would be slightly kidding myself and others (like, a WHOLE lot), if I were to pretend it's a bed of roses in my life each and every day here with six lively children.

Are you surprised?

It's never easy to master this parenting gig we share but the one thing that almost all parents will agree on, is that the more kids you have, the bigger the minefield is, that spreads before you.

There's no avoiding it, it's a warzone that must be walked and it's a long, slow stroll through a nerve-wracking hell with plenty of trenches and a barrage of gunfire that will knock you flying if you're not armed with your wits about you.

To paint a general picture for you, as I type, my six children, both the big and the small, are killing my furnishings with food, drinks and grub, destroying my furniture with their incessant parkour practice (seriously, I am not joking) and from the sound of it, actually, I know they are killing each other too.

 
Just this morning I was woken by my toddler who decided it would be fun to sit on me,
bounce nice and hard and refuse to get off. Good morning life!

There's milk on every surface (trust me, I've wiped the benches around seventy-billion times so far today in the hour or so since I got up). The toilets constantly resemble a public stadium, post-event (got to clean those every time I want to go) and there are fights about the most inane of topics and issues on the go, constantly. (And that prattish parenting tip about not yelling at your kids? - I have to say that over the din, without raising my voice, I would never be heard at all!)

But, you know, I cope - I can handle all that. (Well, sort of...)

If I am entirely honest, the one thing that drives me insane over all others in this crazy parenting role, are the ridiculous arguments my kids have with one another. Usually they are so darn funny. (The topics I mean, not the actual fights themselves...)

"Stop singing my song! It's MY SONG!" shouted by Child A when Child B decides they want to sing (shock-horror), the very same song too.

Or perhaps "Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!!" which, when investigated further, (because I have been pulled into the 'black hole of stupidity' by their constant tears and shouts for Mum), turns out to be an insane argument about Child A's breathing too loudly which is annoying poor Child B!

Kill me now!

There are days where these arguments drag on and on and the incessant call of "MUM!" to intervene, rings loud and clear around my neighbourhood with frightening clarity and it was right about now for me, on the receiving end of one too many of these crazy instances, that I discovered my golden moment of Mothering:

Hiding!

One day, after enduring more than the regular dose of tantrums between my children, I slipped from my chair, exhausted, as I heard the umpteenth row developing into a crescendo of shrieks and slunk to the floor where I crawled beneath the dining table to take cover.

I was hoping that I would not be found.

Sure enough, the bawling, disgruntled child arrived in the room, calling my 'trade' name (AKA "Mum?!") a few times both angrily and anxiously before falling suddenly silent.

A meek and unexpected voice then quietly said "Mum, why are you hiding under the table?" which was followed by teary, spluttery, spurts of laughter from my now hysterically happy child!

Was I surprised by this response? You bet! I thought I would have to explain myself to an even more over-wrought child and later mentally torture myself for being such a weak and bad Mother. But no...

Through my own inability to cope, the humour of the situation managed to break through and my bad Mum moment suddenly shone with the success of a totally unexpected kind.

These days, the hiding trick has become a very regular 'bad Mum' moment which has also spread to Dad too. No matter how crazy-irritate our kids may become with one other, the outcome for everyone involved always end ups the same - total hilarity!
 
Maybe I'm not such a bad Mum after all?

Have you ever hidden from your kids when you couldn't take another minute of their craziness?
How do you diffuse the tension with your own little terrors?

*I am a Hello Mamas Influencer and write for the Hello Mama's website. This post has been published on Hello Mamas.
Hello Mamas is a free social website that connects Mums with other local Mums for friendship and support.
Read a prior post here.
Jody is a Melbourne based Mum of six kids and the writer behind the blog  Six Little Hearts.
When she's not cleaning or blogging, she's regularly hiding from her children until it all blows over.

 









13 comments:

  1. OMG! I love this! I has made my day! What a golden tip! There are totally days that parenting gets beyond you so this seems like a perfect way to deal with it.

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    1. It comes fully road tested and highly recommended. I swear, it's a great tip!

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  2. This sounds like an every day little or big family who love being around each other...

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    1. I do love being around my kids despite the noise, mess and fighting...

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  3. Oh I remember the sibling fighting was what drove me the most insane when my kids were little - particularly between my twins! Love your hiding under the table tip - wish I'd thought to try that one back then! Hope it keeps working for you! lol :-)

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    1. I can't believe you didn't think of it with twins! Poor you. I'll bet you have another tip to share if hiding wasn't on your parenting agenda?

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  4. Excellent tip! I sometimes lock myself in the loo ...

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    1. LOL!
      I do lock myself in the bathroom but that's usually reserved for when we're playing chasy! We're a very mature lot in this household apparently...

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  5. I am so using this next time! By the way, never think you are a bad mum, you are awesome!

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    1. You are too kind!
      You've got to give this one a go - there are times when it works a treat. Let me know how it pans out!

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  6. I can't imagine the bickering that goes on with six, my two are bad enough. My oldest girl likes to bait her younger sister and it drives me nuts.
    Yesterday Izzy was following Summer around with the tablet, Summer didn't want her to so she was screaming and whining about it. Two minutes later they were best friends, laughing and giggling watching the video played back. Then they continued to play fight and watch the videos back! I turned out to be amusing for them and me.

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    1. I won't tell lies - six is insane and it seems to worsen with the years too rather than ease off. That said, it's fun most of the time.
      I know that particular fight you describe well. Happens about every 20 minutes here. Kids are very forgiving of each other thankfully so pretty soon they see the funny side of it.

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